My Only Bitchy Cousin Is A Yankeetype Guy The Exclusive

My cousin, Bradford, is the Platonic ideal of this creature.

One year, he spent 20 minutes reorganizing my aunt’s spice rack because it was "logistically unsound." We all just watched, amused and slightly terrified. That's the exclusive experience of a Yankeetype guy. Why I Secretly (and Not So Secretly) Love Him

Imagine dropping a lacrosse-playing, Vermont-chèvre-eating, NPR-listening teenager into a public high school in the exurbs of Georgia during the early 2000s. The result was not assimilation. It was crystallization.

18;write_to_target_document1a;_LTTuabf4EM7cseMPwbvQ-Qk_20;56; 0;55d;0;42b; my only bitchy cousin is a yankeetype guy the exclusive

Bennett perfected this by age sixteen. While the rest of us were driving pickups and listening to country radio stations that played the same three songs about trucks and dirt roads, Bennett was interning at a NPR affiliate in Hartford, learning how to pronounce “açaí” correctly, and developing a resting face that looked like he just smelled a distant garbage fire.

If you actually have a relative who fits this description, navigating their personality requires a specific strategy.

Silence fell over the table like a shroud. My cousin, Bradford, is the Platonic ideal of this creature

Complains about the humidity, calls everyone "kid" condescendingly, and owns three different versions of the same black turtleneck.

: Historically, a Yankee is someone from the Northeast (New England or New York) . This type is often stereotyped as shrewd, stern, and stubborn . In a family setting, this might manifest as a "bitchy" cousin who is overly critical, frugal to a fault, or acts morally superior .

: They try to diffuse the tension with extreme politeness, which only annoys the Yankee cousin further, who views the niceness as fake or inefficient. Why I Secretly (and Not So Secretly) Love

Because that’s what you do with your only bitchy cousin who’s a Yankee-type guy the exclusive. You refuse to take his advice. And you love him, loudly and publicly, knowing he’ll complain about it. Perfectly.

The Family Rebel: Why My Only Bitchy Cousin is a Yankeetype Guy (The Exclusive)